We started a new study at church last week called For Women Only: What you need to know about the inner lives of men, by Shaunti Feldhahn. By the gist of my post you might think you need to be married for this study, but I promise you don’t. It applies to boyfriends, dads and sons as well… There are singles, engaged and marrieds in this study!
My first thoughts were… ok, here we go, another study about men… not really what I am looking for… I mean, I don’t really want to know anything else about men then I already do, and I do okay with Eron already. Plus, I think I need more work on the inner life of myself and my own growth. Ahem.. Do you see that, there I go again, selfish by nature.
For Women Only though… I like that part of the title. I absolutely LOVE being around Godly women and women who want to grow in Christ, so that doesn’t sound bad… Who doesn’t love being around women who just shine with Jesus?! In fact the study is actually kind of appealing, and in reality, I know I need it. I didn’t/don’t want it, but I need it. I began to pray (half-heartedly at first) that God would change my attitude about it. Open my heart up to being a better wife. A wife who knows what my husband needs in order to help him flourish.
You know what God has been showing me? When you treat and respond to your husband the way God designed you to do, your husband gets the fuel he desires to be the man God designed him to be, and when he is that man, he is able to lead his wife in a way that helps her grow deeper into what she is called to be… Best case scenario, it remains a full circle and growth occurs with abounding joy.
After the first week of homework I have realized that a lot of my reactions and poor attitude towards my husband come from fear… One fear I have is that I will be left behind, stuck with some job that makes me miserable while Eron lives an exciting life fighting bad guys (police work stuff). I am jealous for sure, and that was hard to admit until now. This is what God says about that:
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18
So, when I treat my husband with love and respect my fears will be literally cast out! Before I could even begin to worry about what would replace those fears I got another answer:
Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
I spend a lot of my time (I don’t even want to think about the actual percentage) worrying and acting out of fear, so yes please! Bring on the peace!
***While I was typing this post I was photoging my dog in all her awkward sleeping positions. I am beginning to think I need to make a book out of them :).